[rating=8.00] “Binding Arbitration”
This week’s episode of Silicon Valley was one for the books. For a show with a very specific subject matter, the umbrella type comedy has the ability to transform even the smallest moment into a colossal hassle for all those involved. Comedy then ensues, because you know, dick jokes and subtler humor.
Big Head has done a great job of stepping into the leader role. Like most higher-ups, he does absolutely nothing and gets paid obscene amounts of money. During an evening out with his subordinates, he runs into a pair of Nucleus programmers who are reeling at idea of Big Head having the role he does. Nucleus is an absolute failure, and while they are months away from the unemployment line, Big Head is buying rounds of drinks in yuppie bars.
The Nucleus employees clear out, leaving behind their Hooli phone containing the Nucleus prototype. Big Head, curious, picks it up. “Holy shit.” In an effort to mend bridges with Richard, Big Head brings him out to his boat. Yes, Big Head has a boat. Richard looks the platform over with both happiness and disdain. Pied Piper has nothing to worry about because Nucleus is an utter failure, but with the way things are looking, his company will never get off the ground.
Big Head insists Richard hold on to the phone, eventually spelling out the obvious. It’s Richard’s ticket to success, if any tech or media blogger catches wind of the Hooli failure it will be the end of Gavin. Giving Richard the phone is Big Head’s way of saying thank you. He’s only where he is because Richard didn’t hire him on to work on Pied Piper. “I was going to quit Hooli and move home!” he explains, hilariously lounging on his boat. Big Head is the best. 
After going back and forth on what’s the best option for the task at hand, Richard eventually goes to his lawyer to discuss terms with Gavin on how, when, and if he’s going to get the phone back. Neither of the men are equipped to negotiate, so they keep their phones on speaker and consult with their lawyers during the process. Following a few sexually devious threats, and a reminder that Richard giving out “stolen” tech could land him in prison, the parties agree to meet for binding arbitration. Essentially a trial without actually having a trial.
Erlich is stoked about it, ready to stand trial to defend Richard’s honor. The rest of the guys…not so much. Part of the legal process is the obligatory “document dump” where Gavin’s lawyers send over all of their gathered evidence to Richard’s lawyer. Or, in this case, a disbarred and homeless litigator who spent time in an emotional ravine (and an actual ravine) before spending time in prison. He may be a mess, but he turns out to be a decent lawyer. At least for Richard’s purposes. As they start sifting through the paperwork, Jared does his best to keep spirits high by maintaining keeping busy will keep you happy. “Are you saying work will set you free?” Dinesh asks. “Yes, exactly” Jared says, smiling and flipping through documents. “He’s the most cheerful person I’ve ever heard quote Hitler.” 
In the middle of preparing for the case, Jared realizes that the mother condor of the egg they’ve been streaming has not returned in a while. But, before he can call the museum to raise awareness, Dinesh and Gilfoyle pose the classic “Schrodinger’s Cat” problem. If the egg is dead, and he’s the one who discovers this fact, then he effectively killed the egg. At first he brushes it off, but eventually Jared freaks out and begins to weigh the pros and cons.
While most of the documents are worthless, Richard’s litigator comes across an important email. “Explain to me why you lied to my face?” he accuses. Richard is confused, but quickly explains. He’s been upfront with the fact that he has had no girlfriend for at least three years, but in many emails to Big Head he refers to “his girlfriend.” Turns out, the girlfriend is his computer. Said girlfriend also entered the shop for three days, during which time he tested his Pied Piper algorithm on a Hooli computer. He has effectively fucked everything for the umpteenth time.
At this point they can do nothing but hope Gavin’s lawyers don’t flag the emails for suspicious activity. “Are you telling me this entire case hinges on whether or not people believe that Richard has a girlfriend?” Gilfoyle asks. It’s not surprising that they’ve hit this crossroads again. Like I mentioned in last week’s recap if they were to easily succeed there would be no show. This knowledge makes it hard to watch the idiotic antics the dudes keep getting themselves into, but it also makes for great entertainment. Since there’s going to be a season three, we can safely assume that at least one thing is going to go wrong to keep them down, but there’s room to grow.
Moving into arbitration, Gavin’s legal team calls Big Head as their first witness. In the perfect Big Head move, he manages to show up late and come in the wrong door. As he takes the stand, he’s immediately praised as a success. Though he tries to reiterate that he literally does nothing, the lawyers present his assertions as masked modesty. Eventually, they explain that if Big Head can be so modest about his accomplishments, there’s a huge chance that he had a bigger role in Pied Piper than he likes to let on. The judge goes for the move, seemingly pleased with the results.
Back at the house, the dudes are curious about how the “trial” is going. Unfortunately for Jared they present it again as the Schrodinger’s cat problem. If it’s not going well, then it’s their fault for calling. So they let it be. Upset by the logic of the problem, Jared complains that, “By that logic anyone attending an open casket funeral is a murderer.” Dinesh and Gilfoyle’s lack of a response does nothing to quell the doubts harbored by Jared.
After Big Head is made out to be a hero, Richard’s lawyer uses the same logic to make Erlich look like an incompetent asshole. If it’s true that Erlich is the worst, then wouldn’t that in turn make Big Head the worst as Erlich supported his crappy app? After heavy questioning, a riled up Erlich eventually lets loose a series of insults directed at Big Head’s intelligence and shitty app he was working on. “It was a buggy, rapey piece of shit!” he yells out, explaining that when Richard tried to run it his computer crashed. Putting it in the shop for three days…uh-oh.
Not only has Richard manage to blow it, but Erlich quickly followed suit. Way to go guys. During a ten minute break they meet in an aside to figure out their next step. If Richard tells the truth, they’re boned. But if they find out he lied, he’ll go to jail for perjury. After weighing back and forth on the problem, Richard decides to tell the truth. In response, as a last ditch effort, Erlich stands up in the middle of the courtroom. “I am Richard’s girlfriend!” he exclaims, “I was in the shop! He hit it so hard I needed a doctor.” Though hilarious, it’s not enough to fix their problems.
After an intense internal debate, Jared calls to confirm the status of the egg with the museum. Since there’s not a ton of traffic on the website anyway, it doesn’t seem like a huge loss. As they wait for news from Richard, they watch as a museum official heads up to the nest to remove the cameras. The second he unhooks his harness it becomes apparent that this is not going to end well. While trying to pull the camera from the cliff wall, the official plummets to the ground. Of course, the camera is still on, so the dudes (and anyone watching) saw everything. Gilfoyle asserts that since Jared called the museum, he has killed the official. Dinesh sheepishly reads a text from Jared “I’m not going to read it out loud…” Holy shit.
Right off the bat we know the guy isn’t dead. His crying injured face filled our screens during the preview for next week. Now, during the “Homicide” episode the dudes were debating on whether it would be better for them if Blaine actually made the jump, or if he plummeted to his death. Obviously they would get views if he made it, but they would get more foot traffic if he died. Because they’re looking at it as an entertainment platform it’s a double edged sword. Applying this to the recent incident, it seems only natural that they’ll be getting a ton of traffic to the platform. People love tragedies. Unfortunately all the popularity in the world cannot save Pied Piper from its creator’s blunders. Or can it?
