Uncensored Thursdays: No Lion About It, The King Of The Jungle Looks Tasty

It’s time once again to check in with irreverent mind behind Uncensored Interview’s blog The Shark for another installment of Uncensored Thursdays…

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You’d think with a name like Plants and Animals, this Montreal trio would have respect for both flora and fauna. But even lead singer Warren C. Spicer (great porn name, by the way) admits that while he tries to dodge meat as much as he can, he’s certainly not one to turn down a free flank steak, veal cutlet, or even a tasty Kangaroo Patty:


That picture, by the way, is real. I actually bought kangaroo patties at a rare game meat market in the Beacon Hill area of Boston. I don’t want to mention the store by name, however, because it was also selling lion steak, which I’m pretty certain is illegal, as well as fucking delicious, at $59.99 a pound. As you know, one of my goal’s in life is to eat my way through the entire animal kingdom, so when I wrangle up some cash from either busking, panhandling, or just good old fashioned chicanery, I plan on returning to purchase some King of The Jungle rib eye.

This whole thing ties in with what Plants and Animals were saying about cannibalism. How? Well I look at it this way – the lion meat was 60 bucks a pound because it was imported from Africa. You pretty much have to get it from there, as you don’t see too many lion roaming the Great Plains or the woods of Florida. Lion are known as predators, so it’s probably a safe bet that this lion was killed not for food, but for survival, or revenge. You have to figure, there’s a very good chance that this lion ate somebody over in Africa’s buddy, so it was hunted down and killed. They had this whole fucking lion carcasds just lying around, so they said “fuck it, let’s butcher up some steaks, get some dry ice, and ship this shit over to the U.S., top dollar.” So when you take a bite into that lion steak, you’re also probably taking in bits and pieces of human, which is probably why you’re paying so much for the meat in the first place. But you know what, I don’t care, I’ll close my eyes and suck it up just so I can enjoy my medium rare, pepper-crusted lion steak.

Which brings me to my final point today – why does the indie music scene have such a large, intensely dedicated vegan and vegetarian movement, but absolutely no organized carnivore society? You never see a bunch of tight-jeans wearing hipsters outside a Gay Blades or a Fleet Foxes show with huge “Eat Your Meat”, “Veggies Have Feelings Too”, and “Make Mine Medium Rare Please” signs. I think it’s high time someone did something about this, and that’s why right now, right here, I’m starting the official Society To Encourage Indie Carnivorism, or STEIC for short. Our mission? To combat the lies, misrepresentations, and hearsay perpetuated upon the world by the vegetarian movement. So please visit The Site, which just launched, and join the movement to save meat-eating in America.

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