It’s pretty embarrassing that Avril Levigne does a better job now of playing Metallica songs than do James, Lars, Kirk and company. At the recent MTV Icon: Metallica show, Avril and her pimply faced band played a cover of "Fuel." The best I can say about Levigne’s performance is that it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard. No, that honor would fall to Metallica’s newest release, St. Anger.
Metallica has sold over 80 million albums, and they might be the only real "arena rock" band left playing. They also might be the only true metal band that ever crossed over to the mainstream. So what happened?
They abandoned everything that made them successful in the first place. The first thing you notice when you listen to St. Anger is how terrible the sound quality is. The Black album took over a year to record. This one sounds like they did it during the commercials while watching Everyone Loves Raymond. James’s voice is scratchy and hoarse. Lars’s drumming sounds like he’s playing on tin cans. I’d like to comment on Kirk Hammett, but I’m not sure he’s even involved with this album. A Metallica album without a single guitar solo. That’s like a Michael Jackson video without him grabbing his crotch. Unacceptable.
One of Metallica’s biggest strengths was the way they were able to blend harmonies and melodies while still playing metal. Unlike many of their peers, Metallica’s music always had depth and texture. They were able to play with a full orchestra, because their songs were as intricate as classical music, only played at a furious pace.
St Anger is as boring as elevator music, and the furious pace doesn’t help. It’s as if the band was so intent on returning to their speed metal roots that they forgot about the pesky little detail of actually writing decent music.
Far worse than the horrific musicianship and brutal production are the juvenile lyrics. One of the saving graces of both Load and Re-Load were the depth of the lyrics. Sure, the albums paled in comparison to Metallica’s earlier work, but at least Hetfield seemed to be making an effort when writing lines like "This thorn in my side is from the tree I planted" on Load’s "Bleeding Me." Not so on St. Anger. James belts out gems like "My lifestyle…..determines my deathstyle" and "I’m madly in anger with you."
Do you remember those old Polly-O String Cheese commercials? When the kid would ask for a "pizza with nuthin’!" He didn’t want the sauce, he didn’t want the crust, he didn’t want the pepperoni. Well,
St. Anger is a Metallica album with nuthin.’ No guitar solos, no innovation, no elaborate lyrics, no crushing riffs, no harmonies, and no good songs.
All you get is cheese.
