CD Review

That third line where the album’s label is mentioned is usually just glossed over, an area that appeals only to savvy music listeners who keep up on specialty label releases. Even though the teenage U.K. trio The Subways are being released on a major label conglomerate like WEA Records (a subsidiary of TimeWarner), that third line is awfully important when judging this particular release. See, the 2004 Glastonbury Festival Best Unsigned Band winners are being marketed in a synergistic fashion, first appearing in a pivotal episode of the sharp Fox prime-time teenage soap opera The O.C., a television show that is created by Time Warner.

Since those knowledgeable marketing gurus know that pimply-faced teenage school children rely on the Peter Gallagher-led sudfest as a way to keep up on what’s hip and want to turn a profit on this slickly overproduced 12-track collection of Oasis, The Vines, and adolescent musical inexperience. They shove the vociferous derivative track “Rock and Roll Queen” straight down their throats, hoping that a placement on the TV shows soundtrack collection (also released on WEA Records will create anticipation, even going so far by marketing the band in a comic book fashion so that the Seth Cohens of the world can have a band to relate to. (For those of you who don’t watch The O.C., Seth Cohen is the insecure pop culture guru who does nothing but play PlayStation and read comics)

Truth is that there is nothing as complex as the teenage mind to be had on The Subway's Young for Eternity, just a teenager screaming as loud as he can over second-hand riffs. Corporate synergy once again fails. The one positive thing Young for Eternity might accomplish is that the pre-teens who purchase it may find this as dreadful as I did and learn that they can’t believe everything they see on TV.