You either love Phish or you don't. I have never seen Phish, or Trey, or any other solo project from the group, so there is no way I can be considered a fan of the band. However, my fiancé, on the other hand, knows how many shows he has been to, what openers they played and any covers they broke out at each one. The differences run the gamut, and since I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with this man, I decided to explore the attitude and traditions of a phan.
I must admit, in college, I knew a few "popular" Phish tunes, though most of my exposure to the band has been fairly recent. Here's the story; it was five years after college graduation and I considered myself to be a smart, fun, easy-going gal looking for a good-hearted, responsible man to date and yup, fall in love with. So along comes "Mr. Soul Companion". Our courtship was innocent enough; we meet through mutual friends, partied together, enjoyed adventure trips and many lazy afternoons. Our love affair grew and then matured while Phish took their first of a two year long hiatus. I was blind to the scrounging for tickets, late night IM chat sessions, and coughing up dough to fly across the country to see two shows in a row at the same venue. Now that we have proclaimed our love, I am learning more and more about the soul of the man who loves me, but also loves Phish!
When the news broke that the band was reuniting and opening on NYE 2003 in NYC, I was like, "okay, I'll finally see what all this hype is about". Turns out, tickets sold out immediately and the cost of resale tickets was outrageous. He, who thought he could resist the temptation, "scored an extra", accepted the offer for the single ticket, and went off to the show...alone! No Phish for me that night. Plus, NYE without a kiss - well, I guess a virtual kiss via cell phone counts nowadays, huh? But that is just one example of the impact that Phish has on my man. The better, newsworthy story is how I am reminded daily that Phish fans are in a league of their own. You can't plop them into any pot. They are not quite like a Deadhead, a DMB groupie, or even, a diehard follower of a local band. If you are a "phan", you have an instant bond with thousands of other phriends.
Over the last year, I've come to appreciate the Phish following. I do my small part to co-exist as a faux phan. I purchase the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food Frozen yogurt, I pick up CD-Rs so my man can spend an entire evening downloading concerts for his pals. And I even learn some of the lyrics to his favorite songs so that I can exude some sort of love for the band. My fiancé reacts loyally to any Phish news. When a new disk is released, it is pre-ordered. If tickets go on sale, he attempts to order them. When a friend hears a rumor, he snuffs it out. I amuse myself and listen to some grooves. Phish is sassy and quirky, but some of the jams drive me to confusion. Maybe that's the purpose, I'm still too naive to tell.
For me, Phish has not manifested a portal to eternal bliss. But the happy vibes my man exudes while experiencing the music is enough evidence for me to think that perhaps, they are very close to harmony.
