A Very Vegas Update: No Fear, Lots of Loathing

Much like a eunuch in an orgy, I watched many of my friends and colleagues enjoy the shit out of the gaming tables last night but experienced no pleasure for myself.

Vegas

There’s the girl who hit two zeros in three spins of the roulette wheel, the guy who bagged a straight on his third-ever hand of Let It Ride poker, and the girl who saw three blackjacks in a row without my receiving so much as a solitary ace. About the only consolation I can find this morning is the fact that I actually woke up…and holy shit, I just found two $25 chips in my back pocket as I type this. Nice, so I only lost my December rent minus $50. Though I’m sure the casino minions slipped those in there so I’d have an excuse to go back in there today.

Vegas is an incredible place, all things to all people. It’s family fun, it’s bachelor party fun, it’s a place for conventions and work. But most of all, it’s a city in which I can go and see the popular rock band Phish on one trip and on the next watch one bisexual stripper jam a dildo the size of a tree trunk into the vaheena of another. I think that should be their slogan actually: “If you’ve got a sturdy table leg, our girls can take ’em. Or not, you can really do tons of other shit, too.” Might just work.

Clearly I’m delirious from a horrific lack of sleep on this four-city, five-day work junket, and I think it’s time to get showered up, lather myself in shame and head on back to the table. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this video that our man T-Bags stumbled upon this morning. I kinda feel like this right now:

[youtube]rGZRWq1-g6w[/youtube]

Anyway, I shall return next week, and I promise to talk about, ya know, music. ‘Til then, enjoy your pebbles and let me know if you need assistance with a sock change.

5:30 EST UPDATE: It appears those two $25 chips were of some good luck…and I just turned them into winnings and then some…see, just gotta post some negativity for the public to read and the good times come-a knockin’. We’re leavng Vegas a winner.

Related Content

4 Responses

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

New to Glide

Keep up-to-date with Glide

Twitter