Apparently Not Enough People Say “I’m Gonna Go Lishten To My Britney Shhpears Record”

If someone would have told me a month ago that the biggest album sales controversy in the music industry during the first week of November 2007 would involve Britney Spears and The Eagles, I’d probably punch them in the testicles and/or tits. Yet, somehow, that’s exactly what’s happening this week.

Riot

Billboard today announced a major change in its charting policy, and Billboard charts will now include exclusive sales that are only available through one retailer, like say, Wal-Mart and Starbucks. The move ensures that The Eagles’ first album in 28 years, “Long Road Out of Eden,” beat out Spears’ “Blackout” for the Number 1 slot on the Billboard 200 (pretty handily too, 711K to 290K), and Britney’s fans are none too pleased. There’s about to be some rioting in the whore-lovin’ streets.

Our source inside the company tells us most of the e-mails coming in contain all-caps “FUCK YOU BILLBOARD” pleasantries, and more than a handful want them to burn in hell. All this for changing its charts policy coincidentally during the week that some tub-of-goo trainwreck decided to come out of a drug-induced stupor to drop more schlock on the public. So let’s take a look at some comments from this Britney message board to see what the people are saying, because if nothing else, we love the people. There are some doozies:

And the fact billboard pulled this shit is stupid fuck them exactly anything to take britney down. Yea say its a chart, no it was her chance 300k is very good, people don’t see her album was leaked weeks before the release the demos months upon release. I’m sorry in the almost 10 years I’ve been a fan of britney this has to be the saddest thing be done to her. I would think billboard is on her side. No fucking hope. I still will listen and support our girl.

I only have one question (and not in 27 parts): Regardless of which artist sold more, America is buying these two fucking albums? The Eagles and Britney Spears? This country’s in bigger trouble than I thought. Down with people.

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14 Responses

  1. some great posts on the Brit messageboard. This is my favorite for so many reasons:

    “well hunt u down and feed to some dogs for dinner DO NOT FUCK WITH US! Dont you kno who we are? ITS BRITNEYS FANS BITCH!=)”

  2. Looks like there’s gonna be a “heartache tonight” inside the fans’ of Britney Spears. Here’s what I have to say to the people on that message board: “Take it easy.” But you know, in “the long run,” this will all be forgotten. “Desperado.”

  3. BRITNEY IS THE BEST!! And it’s just bad business practice to change a policy without prior notice. These fans, however crude their language, do have a point. And it seems awfully coincidental that they did it on a week like this one. You noted how unusual it is seeing Britney versus the Eagles on the charts. Funny choice… I can’t help thinking that wasn’t a coincidence.

  4. Hi highly doubt this will be forgotten Mr. Chilly Jackwater. It didn’t me long to figure out your an Eagles fan. How unfortunate for you & your family & anyone who has to tolerate you day in and day out. Listening to you sing those horrid songs all day in your pick-up truck while you drive to Walmart to pick up fresh milk and eggs would – to put it simply – make me blow my brains out. Though Billboard is blame for all this…it’s the Eagles fans that made this happen…that’s right all 711,000 of you.

  5. Oh no you did NOT, BS4eva!!!11!one! You did NOT just go there. I am proud of who I am and I give the best of my love to the EAGLES. I sing them all day long and when I think I can’t sing anymore, I just take it to the limit. Oops…I bet BRIT can’t do that again! Seven Bridges Road. EGLS4eva!!111!!

  6. THIS IS SOOOOOOOO WRONGG!!! You CAN’T JUST CHANGE the policy the night before the announcement!!! The eagles did sell alot, but because of your OWN rules, they were NOT eligible in the billboard charts and all of a sudden YOU CHANGE IT the NIGHT before the ANNOUNCEMENT??? Billboard is the one that said if Britney sells about 300K-350K she will be number 1. Then in the middle of it, Billboard is the one that said SHE’S ON TRACK to number one…..and all of the sudden BILLBOARD decided, let’s change the policy to NOT make her number one….I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE that this is SUCH HORRIBLE BUSINESS ETHIC!!!!

  7. seriously?

    ace is right. the #1 spot for America’s music taste is between britney spears and The Eagles?

    man.

    forgot who’s right in this whole mess, we’re in bigger trouble than we thought.

    ps – this whole thing is going to backfire and give spears even more reason for people to pay attention to her. bad news is always good news in hollywood.

  8. Give her the damn #1 spot. What the hell do the Eagles care? Plus it would stop all the youtube posts and messages. You know what, let’s just never mention this again and get back to talking about GOOD MUSIC!

  9. …oh god shut the fuck up people. cant even use proper grammar or spell right half the time.note eagles 711 britney…under less than half of that…and thats with each one of you britney fans buying like 5 copies each….seriously we are in deep shit if this is the “top of the pile” for america is those two bands.
    seriously go find “wolfy” or sleeptime guerilla museum…or hundreds of other GOOD bands….sigh this country is doomed because of morons like you.

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