We don’t know much about Godsmack, other than what the always-reliable folks at Wikipedia tell us: They’ve had two #1 albums, 11 top-ten singles and four #1 hits on the way to selling more than nine million albums in these United States.

Cocksmackers

They’ve also got some awesome fans. And if you’re looking for a free ticket to the band’s Coors Amphitheatre show this Sunday, we know just the place: Craigslist!

So here is the deal women. If you are willing to let me look at your tits while I jerk off I will give you the ticket. I am NOT looking for anything else sexual. I just want a live playboy in front of me. I won’t touch you and you won’t touch me. Pretty simple. So if you want the ticket I’ll bring it to you, pop one off and leave. I am very serious and you should be too.

That doesn’t sound very God-like at all. In any event, ladies, make the call and this guy will do some Cackjacking so you can do some Godsmacking. Fair trade.