Fact: White people look ridiculous when they dance. This is bound to be one of my least popular statements, but I stand by it. I have been to weddings and I have seen your macarenas, chicken dances, electric slides, mashed potatoes, and running men. I’ve been to The Phish concerts and I have survived the twirlers, twisters, hoopers, sicky-sicky ragers and meatstickers. The fact is, we all have a touch of the Elaine Benes gene.

Admittedly, I look more ridiculous than most. Get me drunk enough and I will perform the “African Ant Eater Ritual” in its entirety for any audience. But if you want to see a real, full-fledged spectacle, put on some traditional Irish music, preferably a jig or a reel. After a few glasses of Jameson, I will show you the true meaning of the word “spastic.” (In my more sober moments I realize that being a quarter Irish does not excuse such behavior.)

The ‘Celtic Music Resurgence’ of the past half a century has provided drunken a-holes like me with some truly inspired music to compliment our pints of Guinness and Smithwick’s. So, in honor of St. Patrick’s Month (which began officially on March 1st in Hoboken NJ) here are two of my favorite trad-Irish artists for you to check out! Slante!

Read on for Neeko’s look at the music of Flook and Solas…

Flook:

My absolute favorite traditional Irish group consists, ironically enough, of three dudes and a chick from England. John Joe Kelly, arguably the best bodhran player on the planet, makes his drum sound like two drum kits and a bass player. The flute melodies are way too difficult to drunkenly keep up with, but the rhythms are made for alcohol inspired “spasmodic pseudo-jigging”…

Flook live on BBC television in 2006 playing my favorite track from their album Rubai:

Here’s some quality video of the band at what appears to be a high school auditorium:

Here they are again, on the mellow tip, apparently in someone’s basement. Sarah Allen, the band’s accomplished flutist really shines in this beautiful tune off their last album, Haven:

Solas:

“All-Ireland Champion” instrumentalist Seamus Egan, best known for penning the Sarah McLaughlin tune I Will Remember You started this Irish-American group in 1994. Traditional instrumentation and Karan Casey’s angel-like vocals provided the foundation for one of the most accomplished acts of the genre. Casey ditched the band back in ‘97 to pursue a solo career. The band went on to make four albums without her, but in my opinion their best stuff is on their self-titled debut, and their third album, The Words That Remain.

Here’s a groovin’ clip (minus Casey) to introduce you to the Solas sound. This clip was apparently filmed in a Japanese Restaurant? Who the hell is booking these bands!?

Here’s another clip from NY’s Grassroots Music Fest in 2001. Look at all the white people dance:

Finally, a little clip of Karan Casey with her solo band, on an actual stage! Apparently Karan is about 4-foot-3.

Hope this little taste of Celtic sound spices up your St. Patty’s month just a wee bit more. Remember, I’m only a quarter Irish. If you don’t dig my selections, give me another chance next October, when I will unveil my Columbus Day special on traditional Italian Square Dancing. Pog mo thoin, bitches!