How Michael Jackson Saved My Life

Then one day, things changed. Until now the only people that know what happened to me was my immediate family and a close circle of friends. So here goes: I was molested by my best friend’s older brother. One day turned into the next day, and the day after that and the day after that and it continued for what seemed like a lifetime. I was forced to do things I don’t particularly care to go into detail about, and I have managed to block out a good portion of my childhood memories because of him.  It scared me, it angered me and I was ashamed of what I had let happen to me at such a young age.

I eventually got the guts to tell my sister what had transpired, she told my family and it was put to an immediate stop. Charges were not pressed; my family thought it was too much for me to take on. I do recall the day it ended and my step-father standing on the edge of our lawn with a shotgun in hand, threatening him. I received counseling for a few years and my best friend and I parted ways. In time, we moved away from that house, that town and those neighbors. Even today, I see decisions I’ve made along the way that were directly impacted by what happened to me when I was only 8.

Upon hearing about Michael Jackson’s death a memory sparked into my head about how one of those days I managed to escape those early afternoon meetings in his bedroom. It began with an ear infection. I had bad ears as a child but this particular incident stuck out because of the pain and ringing in my ears was so unbearable. It hurt so much that I was screaming. My mother was stuck at work for a couple of hours so my baby sitter did what should could do and provided me with some ear wax removal solution, Q-Tips, and Michael Jackson’s Thriller album. So I sat in my baby sitter’s bed and concentrated on that cassette tape.

Until this point I had never thought about music as a way to escape. But it worked. I concentrated on every note, every rhythm, every beat and every lyric. I found solace in music – I still do to this day. Music allowed me a way to not think about the bad things that were happening at the time. Now, I know it was only an album, but that afternoon I was free from all the bad things in the world, especially him. Many believe that Michael Jackson did some pretty unspeakable things in the past, but I just wanted to let the world know that one of his best creations helped me escape the one thing he was accused of – even if it only lasted for 42 minutes, that album will never leave my memory. I think that moment was indirectly responsible for my belief in music today. And for that I am thankful. Music heals, music evokes emotions, music brings people together and most importantly – music saves.

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17 Responses

  1. That’s an incredibly powerful essay Jennifer. I think every music lover who follows this site has most likely used music to escape painful times in their life… Lord knows The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Tonight, Tonight,” saved my ten year old self at my darkest hour. This is single handedly the most powerful thing I’ve read on Jackson’s music since his death. Way to shine, and thanks for sharing.

  2. Jennifer,
    Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story. I am sure that their are many who can relate to music saving their life at some point (maybe not to the degree that you did). Thanks for reminding us how powerful music can be.

  3. Just as a beautifully crafted piece of music can touch someone and throw them a lifeline, so can a well-written, heartfelt essay like this. Thank you for sharing — I’m sure you’ve touched a lot of people by sharing your story.

  4. Hi Jenn. I can relate to your story in so many ways. I too was molested, but I DID go to trial an dit was horrifying for me. But I stayed locked in my room every available moment with Michael’s music and I too learned to zone out and listen to the melodies and notes and rhythms until the pain stopped. I think you are so courageous for speaking out and letting the world know just how much Michael has touched your life. I, too, tell my story every chance I get because I want the world to know that Michael was my reason for living and not commiting suicide in those rough teen years. Thanks so much, and feel free to contact me. In fact, all Michael fans can contact me on Yahoo messenger. My screen name/e-mail is little_hottieAHS

  5. I know firsthand how much music means to you. I never knew this background, and I feel just sick and outraged about it. If you ever want to talk you know I am here for you. We all have ugly skeletons we could share. I wonder how much it helps.. You really are brave, J. You obviously touched so many people with this. I love you, hon!

  6. I know how you feel, the same happened to me and it was MJ that made me feel like a child again, MJ made me feel clean and pure, his words were so powerful, I am what I am because of you MJ, I LOVE YOU. I know child molesters, i can smell them a mile away, MJ was not one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts me when people call him that, I woudl know who they are not the press. Respect to all MJJ belivers

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