We like to fluff Sir Paul McCartney ’round here, so today we offer a countervailing opinion. Our Bad Music Correspondent Eliot Glazer shall now take Macca down a peg or two. Great, Hidden Track, yet another post about aging Brits.

I like “Feliz Navidad” as much as the next guy, and although my heart lies with Mariah Carey’s go-to-for-the-gays, modern classic “All I Want For Christmas,” the holiday song I can truly call my favorite is, naturally, “Wonderful Christmas Time (All The Best!)” by Paul McCartney and Wings. Honestly, what the shit is this song?

Read on for more on why Eliot wants this song to go the way of Linda…

Wonderful Christmas Time’s celebratory lunar bounces and instrumental warbling confuse and delight me year after year, and the video is nothing less than a nightmare that can only be produced by the 1980s (if you couldn’t already tell by Linda McCartney’s Wayne Gretzky ‘do). As a Jew who encounters every Christmas season as yet another opportunity to be overlooked, it’s nice to find some secular sympathy in Wings’ promotion of, simply enough, having fun.

It’s quite obvious that Paul and the gang were having a grand ol’ time when they penned this tune. At the bridge, the lyric “The choir of children sing their songs” takes an awkwardly long time before being followed by the mirroring notes of the melody, one…weird…tone at a time. And the visual accompaniment begs to be witnessed in the video, in which the keyboard is played…in…space?

So this Christmas, pour a little ‘nog, curl up by the fireplace, drop some E, and do like Wings: Go batshit crazy. ‘Tis, apparently, the season to be fugged up.