The sixth season of Lost starts tonight so we wanted to re-run Ryan’s Phish Style preview of the upcoming final season of the show.

This is it, folks. After five amazing seasons filled with countless characters, twists, love interests, and sci-fi mind benders, Lost fans finally get to answer those burning questions, put the harebrained theories to bed and close an important chapter in their TV viewing careers.

[Image From the Coventry Blog]

Having watched Lost since the onset and obsessed over it with endless email debates – a topic that perhaps poses the only email subject line rival to that of Phish – my buddy Sean Lalley and I (whom some of you may remember from our short lived Story of the Ghosts days ages ago here on HT), decided to devise a little bloggy preview for the final season. And we figured what better way than to run through the long list of characters with their Phish song counterparts – a job made easy by the fact that roughly 40% of all Phish lyrics reference time.

The Smoke Monster – Walls of a Cave

“It might have been an etching on a marker of a grave, or maybe on the walls of the cave.”

Etched on an underground blast door of one of the Dharma stations existed a map which revealed the other remaining Dharma stations as well as four iterations of the letters “CV.” Later, at some comic book convention, the producers of Lost admitted “CV” stands for “Cerberus Vents” and that they actually refer to the Smoke Monster by the name Cerberus.

In ancient Roman mythology, Cerberus was a three headed watchdog who permitted spirits to enter or leave the underworld. In the case of Lost, the Cerberus seems to act as the watchdog of pointless randoms who don’t belong on the show like Shannon and Nadine, both of both since got waxed by the Smoke Monster. This secret represents arguably the biggest question mark to be answered in Season 6.

READ ON for the rest of our Lost Season 6 Preview…

Juliet – Julius

“With your past and your future precisely divided, am I at that moment? I haven’t decided…”

This saucy vixen poses an perplexing question as to which side her loyalties lie. Initially, she spent many years under Benjamin Linus’s leadership as an Other, but later cozied up with the Lost crew, playing house with Sawyer and drawing out some jealousy from Kate as she no longer represented the only female player in the Jack-Sawyer-Kate love triangle. But is she really one of the good guys?

Kate – Tela

” And my soul is made of marble but in her gaze I crumble into dust.”

Just like Tela, everybody covets Kate for various reasons: she’s cute, dangerous, comes with heaps of baggage, and the men fight after her, particularly the troubled loners. The question remains, will she end up with Sawyer or Jack?

Jack – Fluffhead

“He’s sure got some powerful pills, oh yeah.”

Certainly, we all expect a big heroic ending from Jack in the final episode akin to the climax from Fluffhead, whereby he saves the Losties and squares off against the Others. But in our mind, Jack’s finest hour came as Future Jack when melted down, grew a playoff beard, and got hooked on Brett Favres.

John Locke – Mango Song

“Your hands and feet are mangoes. You’re gonna be a genius anyway.”

In the Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham episode in Season 5, the first thing John Locke does after he dies (or at least when he remembers dying) is say “Best. Mango. Ever.” Plus original the motivation of the song, “Your hands and feet are mangled,” could apply both to Locke initially being crippled, having been tossed from a multi-story window, as well as crushing his leg at the Orchid station.

Hugo “Hurley” Reyes – Demand

“You may as well keep your belly full, for the time may come when you’ll rely on the layer of fat.”

While we were tempted to go with “Contact” to highlight our favorite Hurley moment, whereby he saved the day by mowing down the Others in his Volkswagen bus, his finest hour came back in Season 1 when the producers wrote in a funny sequence about Hurley sneaking off in the woods and putting down bags of Cheetos dipped in ranch dressing, because his character wasn’t shedding any pounds despite being beached on a desert island with minimal food.

Charlotte – Time Turns Elastic

“In and out of focus, time turns elastic.”

After repeated flashes and island displacements throughout various moments in time, Charlotte’s brain could no longer hack it. She continually bled out of her nose and suffered from intense headaches, before ultimately kicking the can due to temporal displacement. Charlotte’s popularity mirrored that of the song.

Michael – Moma Dance

“The moment ends though I feel winds, blowing differently than ever before and it’s pushing me further from shore… the moment ends.”

This song reflects Michael and Walt’s voyage to abort the island early on in the series via a make-shift raft. Their time on the island seemingly ended in favor of finally showing Walt the Flatiron Building in New York City. Well, it was either that or Walt exploded into puberty.

Desmond – Backwards Down the Number Line

“You decide what it contains, how long it goes, but this remains. The only rule is it begins, and all my friends come. Backwards down the number line.”

Lots of tunes could apply to Desmond, particularly something like Wolfman’s Brother on account of his signature line brotha, but his greatest contribution to the show came as he finally stopped punching in those number codes, which ultimately led to the crash of Oceanic Flight 815. While we’ve learned a lot about the “numbers” over the years, Season 6 should finally reveal the full meaning over the famous sequence.

Mr. Eko – Punch You in the Eye

“And the gray clouds rumbled over my head, and I feared in my heart that I’d soon be dead.”

As we mentioned above, the smoke monster apparently did not approve of Mr. Eko’s place on the island – or the show – so it grabbed him and tossed him around like an old rag doll until there was nothing left.

Sayid – Colonel Forbin’s Ascent

“Colonel Forbin stared up at the mountain, and wiped away the beads of sweat that glistened on his brow. His tired feet were buried in the quagmire and his bloodshot eyes saw all that lay between him and fulfillment of his vow.”

Sayid is realistically the most like Kayak Guy, the dude who paddled all the way to Gamehendge to punch Wilson in the face. He’s badass just like Sayid. But since we already used “Punch You in the Eye” for Mr. Eko, we’ll stick with a line from Forbin’s Ascent. Colonel Forbin too showed great bravery in the face of danger, climbing a mountain to aid the revolutionaries in order to face off against the evil King Wilson.

Danielle Rousseau – Down With Disease

“When I think it’s time to leave it all behind, I try to find a way but there’s nothing I can say to make it stop.”

Danielle came to the island back in 1988 as part of a small science expedition, including her love interest Robert. Unfortunately, Danielle believed that her friends’ encounters with the Others led them to contract a fatal disease team and she was faced with the tough decision of shooting both her friends and the love of her life to stop further spread of this illness. Let’s hope we get more of young Danielle this season, because 20 years on the island really did not do her any favors.

Vincent – McGrupp

Cool dog, but he ain’t no Harpua.

Ben Linus – AC/DC Bag

“The noose is hanging; at least you won’t die wondering. Sit up and take notice, tell it like it is. If I were near you, I wouldn’t be far from you. I’ve got a feeling you know what you did.”

AC/DC Bag seems fitting for Linus given that after following John Locke to his home and catching him with a noose around his neck just prior to a suicide attempt, that Linus confessed that he has been watching all of the survivors and also shot the driver provided to Locke via Charles Widmore. Then, like the Bag, the evil Linus yanked the noose and choked John Locke to his death. In season 6, the opacity regarding Ben’s true motives and the purity of his intentions will finally clear up.

Charlie – Split Open and Melt

“We breathe deep in a steam dream. And plunge below the water line… Down, down, down. Between beams to the gloom room. Among the seaweed and the slime… Down, down, down. Melt, Split Open and Melt.”

Squaring off with Benjamin Linus’s first lieutenant Mikhail at the underwater station, the Looking Glass, Charlie paid the ultimate watery price in order to both stop the radio jamming at the station that prevented external communication and subsequently pass along an important message that the rescue boat did not in fact belong to Desmond’s wife Penny.

Sawyer – Sloth

“I’m so bad, he’s so nasty. Ain’t got no friends, real outcasty. Stay out of my way, or you’ll end up a cripple.”

Since day one, Sawyer represented the classic loner and outcast. He’s softened over the years, but he still contains that thick skin and gruff exterior.

Frank Lapidus – Shafty

“You’ll just go on an oblivious fool.”

Despite most fans assuming Lapidus for a pilot who’s simply along for the ride in most episodes, Lost producer Damon Lindelhof recently admitted that Lapidus is poised to play a major role in the final season. No longer will he amble about with that unassuming presence, taking us all for fools, but rather finally stepping into the limelight as a major player.

Daniel Faraday – My Mind Has a Mind of Its Own

“My mind’s got a mind of its own. It takes me out walking when I’d rather stay at home, takes me out to parties when I’d rather be alone… My mind’s gotta a mind of it’s own.”

Daniel suffered an incident during his formative years, during which he went nuts, got booted from Oxford, and lost all short term memory. He went to island to be healed.

Miles – Ghost

“I feel I never told you the story of the ghost.”

Miles possesses a unique ability to extract information from dead bodies. In other words, he can talk to ghosts.

Eloise Hawking – Fast Enough For You

“If time was only part of the equation and you could draw the boundaries of our cage.”

Eloise Hawking, Daniel Faraday’s mother, discovered the mathematical equation to locating island location, both physically and in time.

Sun – Guelah Papyrus

“Aboard a craft bereft of oar. I rowed upstream to find Lenore. Abducted by a bandit or a king from some forgotten war.”

Sun initially left the plane crash to paddle back to the second island in hopes of finding her husband Jin, when instead she bumped into a fake Jon Locke whom she believed would lead her to Jin.

Christian Sheppard – Driver

“I’m moving through this life and thinking about the next. Hoping when I get there, I’ll be better dressed.”

Delivered to the island via a pine box in a now famous pair of leather shoes, Jack’s father Christian seems to have far more of history with the island than we originally thought. John Locke later encountered Christian back in time at the underground Orchid station (before it was actually built), raising all sorts of questions regarding his mortality and broader role in this grand time scheme.

Richard Alpert -Mike’s Song

“Trapped in time and I don’t know what to do.”

Richard represents another burning question for Season 6 as the guy mysteriously shows up during all different time periods on the island, but he literally never ages (although he does occasionally sport a different hairstyle).

Jacob – Rocka William

“He knew that he was different, from the moment he was born. A loner just like Malaki from children of the corn.”

Apparently having resided on the island since in the 19th century inside a giant Egyptian statue that resembles a combination of a human, a horse, and an alligator, it’s fair to say Jacob is a both loner and a certifiable weirdo.