Now It's Just Karaoke

It used to be cool and inventive when the recently separated Kid Rock sat in with Lynyrd Skynyrd, Aerosmith and Phish. But his sit-in last night with the legendary Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top and the legendary for sucking Nickelback offered up nothing more than a lame karaoke version of Tush, saved only by a few choice solos by Gibbons.

The hideous rendition was performed as part of the Billboard Music Awards, which all anti-American zealots should praise for showing the stupidity of the music-buying public in this country. Bubblegum pop star Chris Brown won Artist of the Year, and hey, even Nickelback won a couple of awards. Even worse, though, both Britney Spears and Paris Hilton had both been scheduled to host the awards ceremony, but in a shocking twist, they both pulled out recently (rather than something pulling out of them). Nice host choices — how vapid have we become?

But I digress…this is more about the suckitude of seeing Kid Rock warble out some off-key lyrics to a pretty special song. Bob Ritchie should spend a week in his hometown of Detroit searching for inspirado — perhaps he can ask Jack White and The Raconteurs about how they kicked the living shit out of Cheap Sunglasses with Gibbons at the 2006 MTV VMAs.

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Kid Rock, put the girl in the past and come out with a kickass album like its 1999 again. You’re at minute 14:59 here — it’s time to step up to the line and bank in your last-second Trent Tucker shot. Pop music doesn’t have to suck. You once wrote gritty songs that combined metal, rock and a little bit of hip hop in a way that, regardless of what people think of the music, was unique.

At the height of your fame, you brought attention to and awareness of many great rock bands of the ’70s and ’80s to kids who may have never heard of them before buying your albums. Cut the appearances, say goodbye to Hollywood and write some good goddamn rock songs, ya freakin’ dirtbag.

The performance is up on YouTube: Click here for terribility