I think it’s time to give our associate Chilly Jackwater a bigger platform ’round these here parts, maybe once a week. Nobody on the cyberwebs makes me spit milk out of my nose on a more consistent basis than this yuckster. And because I basically guffawed audibly in my boss’ face while reading his response to yesterday’s Big Sam’s Funky Nation review, I figured I’d post it on its own…
You know how the Sports Guy gets his Bird fundies all up in a bunch when a friend sends him a “Vegas?” email. For me, it’s the “Jazzfest?” emails. Right around mid-January they start going around. And then promoter’s emails with random show pairings start filling your inbox: “Don’t miss IvanMoorski with Stanton Moore, Les Claypool, Ivan Neville, Skerik, and Cheme!”
“Don’t miss Skerik’s Band Of Thinly Veiled Sexually References with Skerik, DJ Logic, Les Claypool, Ivan Neville, and Stanton Moore!” [or] “It’s PorterHouse a Medeski with George Porter, Skerik, the Housman, John Medeski, DJ Logic and Ivan Neville!” [or] “Late night Tip’s with MCNSBDD: John Medeski, Cheme, Ivan Neville, Skerik, Russell Batiste, Karl Denson, DJ Logic and Luther Dickenson!”
“It’s the Night of a Thousand Bassists! No drums! No guitars! No keys! Just 3 straight hours of bass solos with Les Claypool, whoever they got to replace Allen Woody, George Porter, Futureman, Dave Schools, and Particle’s bassist!!” [or] “Don’t miss out on the Riverboat with Hey We’re Here Too! A conglomeration of every single member of the seemingly hundreds of bluegrass bands that all sound more or less the same! Featuring all of Yonder Mountain String Band, all of Hot Buttered String Band, all of Honkytonk Homeslice, all of Bela Fleck & The Flecktones, and – somehow – Particle.” Yes, Jazzfest. Smell the love.
I’m smelling the love, and it smells good. But it also smells like recently receded flood waters, stranded black people and just a hint of okra.
