One week ago, we had no clue what reCAPTCHA meant, but after tickets for Phish’s comeback shows at Hampton went onsale via Ticketmaster on Saturday morning we all learned how important that word was to our chances of scoring tickets. Those whose browsers weren’t able to load the system that differentiates humans from computers were dead in the water.

[Headiest reCAPTCHA ever via bloo2e]

Yet, ordering tickets online through Ticketmaster.com wasn’t the only way to obtain these valuable ducats. Some lucky MFers actually picked up their Hampton tickets by navigating Ticketmaster’s phone system. Our buddy Festicles was one of those blessed few and we wanted to share his story…

So I called at 9:27am thinking I’d be on hold for a few and then I’d have to BS the operator for maybe 15 minutes. The system said my wait time would be nine minutes, but immediately I was connected. My stomach dropped when I heard “Thank you for calling Ticketmaster this is Omar speaking, how can I help you?”

Any time I speak to an operator, I always ask “Hello, how are you today?” His response was “Much better than yesterday, thanks!”

READ ON for more of Festicles’ incredible story of scoring Hampton tix…

Immediately, I knew this guy was in need of somebody to talk to.  I feel like we connected for a reason.  I asked him what the problem was, and he began to vent about his personal life.  Within two minutes he said the word “Karma” and I knew right then and there I was in.

For the next 33 minutes we talked about God, Family, fucking up when you’re young, bouncing back as you get older.  We just talked about life.  In fact, at about 9:50 am, he asked for my email address because he wanted to keep in touch after we conducted business.  Half way through it I actually began to really like the guy.  At NO point did I mention Phish though.

So at about 9:56 he said “Festicles, I’d hate to cut you short, but we have a big sale about to go on and…”  And at that minute I asked if his friend who he mentioned was getting divorced had kids.  He said yes, two, and I proceeded to talk about how my parents divorced when I was three.  And for the next four minutes straight, I didn’t let him get a single word in.

At 9:59:30 I said “Ok Omar, It’s time to get down to business.  In 30 seconds Phish tickets are going on sale and you’re going to be my savior.”

The guy was SHOCKED.  He said “IS THAT WHY YOUR HAD ME ON THE LINE?”  I said “Yes, and I think you’re a great guy, and we’re going to continue to be friends, but in 10 seconds you have to get me two three-day packages for phish P-H-I-S-H at the Hampton Coliseum.  You have 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go for it.”

Omar responded “two three-day packages, Festicles your tickets are locked, I need your billing information.”  I had a hard time giving him my credit card number because I was straight up balling crying.  This guy had no idea how much he made my day.  He heard me crying on the phone and said “damn dude, you must really care about this” and I said “like nobody else.”

Omar is going to email me later tonight.  I’m going to get his address and send him a huge thank you package.  This is the best thing that’s happened to me in years.  Amen!

Even if you didn’t get tickets, you gotta smile at this epic story.