Trapped in a Glass Case of Emotion: 100 Reasons Why Phish Should Reunite

Fortunately, it didn’t last and eventually Harry Hood resumed it rightful place in the universe as the best song of all-time and we found new ways to celebrate the band and the scene. One day, thinking about how much I missed the whole thing, I churned out a fairly half-ass list of “Reasons Why Phish Should Reunite” on our sports blog a couple years ago and having been a fan of this here blog, I sent it to Ace Cowboy. Well, Ace added a few to the list and it kinda caught on, I think ending up on phish.net.

Anyway, to make a long story short, the result is the following 100 Reasons Why Phish Should Reunite, submitted largely by anonymous commenters back in August of 2007. Some are pretty hilarious and some are pretty dumb, but since the band is in fact reuniting tomorrow, it makes for some good nostalgia and should help fuel the excitement just a little bit more. So, without further ado, let’s dig in (I hope you like ellipses).

1) Because Vegas just isn’t fun anymore.

2) Because we’re still waiting on that Halloween cover of the full Michael Jackson Thriller album (see Lincoln, NE 10/21/95).

3) Because Antelope Greg might freak some people out as a member of regular society.

4) Because I’m curious what ever happened to that one black guy.

5) Because as they said in Providence (4/5/98), “We just can’t end this thing without a little more funk.”

6) Because we can’t wait to see what ever happened to those random friends that only existed in the lots at Phish shows.

7) Because cute hippies in patchwork are a dying breed.

8) Because dreadlocks are fashionable.

9) Because “phishing” now refers to a criminal activity using social engineering by which computer criminals steal personal information. Go think of your own name you sneaky bastards.

10) Because I don’t know what to do with this stupid longboard.

11) Because we all know they want to.

12) Because they still haven’t covered the theme song to Indiana Jones.

13) Because everyone should be given another opportunity to turn to their buddies mid-song to have this brief exchange:

“Kuroda, man, like holy fuckin’ fuck.”
“I know, dude. I know.”
“I love Kuroda. I love you. I love everything.”
“Samesies.”

14) Because doing tons of nitrous in your own apartment makes you feel like such a scumbag.

15) Because Phish would have NEVER lost to Appalachian State. Never. Ever. Okay, maybe at Coventry.

16) NYE basically sucks now. Nothing can top Phish playing at midnight.

17) So we can clean up the Haight.

18) For all the kids who went and got Phish tattoos. Saw a kid I went to high school with a few months back, and he showed me his Phish tattoo that covered his entire arm. Said he thought he would be following them for the rest of his life, and then they broke up.

19) Jon Fishman at the Red Rocks with Yonder last night just wasn’t the same without Phish. Awesome show!!!! But you won’t see him running around the stage without a little Treysterbation…

20) Because there are no bands that even come close to doing what phish did on a nightly basis.

21) Because summertime just ain’t the same.

22) Because life without Phish is pretty bland.

23) Because being young and only getting to see Phish twice were the greatest two nights of my life.

24) Because I miss Alpine to Deer Creek.

25) Because they still haven’t played a stadium.

26) Because it’s been such a longtime…

27) Because the Magic Burps are knot magic.

28) Because I am listening to other bands for the first time in years.

29) Because of the music…

30) Because sometimes you just can’t help it if your ghetto ass ten speed is squeaking in the Dead Creek camp ground the night before a show.

31) Because I never got to see Forbin’s>Mockingbird in person.

32) Because I cant get a miracle to save my fucking life.

33) Just do it for Greg!! He might be getting out of jail soon.

34) Do it for Lushington.

35) Do it for all the people who sat in traffic for 40 hours (or walked 25 miles) to get into Coventry to see two of the most depressing concerts of our lives.

36) Because there’s no reason that these 4 people should be alive and not making music together.

37) Because they ruined my experience of seeing other bands by completely blowing them out of the water.

38) Because Danny Devito is still a Noob.

39) Because if they don’t Wayne Fontes will unleash Andre Ware on Vermont!

40) Because…….fuck it. I have nothing to add. You’re all absolutely right.

41) Because I haven’t had a goo-ball with pubes in it since Camden ’04.

42) Because I’m getting tired of cut up jams on livephishdownloads.com.

43) A little of each of you are right, even the pathetic one but I haven’t danced like that since ‘04 and there is nothing like loosing self-consciousness for almost an entire show – (completely in the moment) although it seems selfish if they don’t feel it anymore.

44) Because I’ve never been to a better party, with better people, better music, better drugs, and or better vibe.

45) Because I haven’t had a place to drag unsuspecting friends to completely change their lives.

46) Because I want to see Tube, really really badly.

47) They need to get back together, because I’ve never seen them live.

48) Umphrey’s is unbelievable and they’re easily the best band touring right now, but they’ll never be Phish…

49) Bathtub gin!

50) Because when they were on, it was like being portalled to the holy of holies. May God strike me dead. This music is other-worldly and how did we tap into it? But it was also the fact that off nights existed; that beautiful uncertainty of portal or no portal. Will I remain in the venue, or will they transport themselves and the fellow lizards out of their miserable state of being. No other band has done that for me. I only wish I could have seen Pink Floyd, the only other band for me to even come close to a portal Phish night. Never liked the Dead (sorry all you true Hippies).

51) If you think seeing the phish in ‘04 was seeing phish, I feel sorry for you. Antelope Greg, if your reading this, I hope all is well.

52) Because it would make the world a better place.

53) Just being able to see a band with the musical talent they have was something I will never forget. Yes Trey had a problem and we all wish him well but do not put him down for that how many great musical artists have we seen with problems that didn’t get help and didn’t make it. All we as phish phans could hope for is that one day we’ll all be lucky enough to see the boys back on stage and all of us sharing in the grove we all once knew… peace.

54) Because Trey needs a few more chances to remember the words to Cavern.

55) Because I am sitting in an office @ 6:27pm wearing a suit and a tie and I just realized how depressing my life has become without phish. . .PLEASE COME BACK, YOU HAD A TALENT THAT THE WORLD HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE. . . WHY THROW IT AWAY?

56) Phish taught me to enjoy music and life…

57) Because I AM OLD and only saw Phish 15 times in 2years! Yeah!!!!!!!! They will be back…

58) Because I don’t float off the ground at other “concerts” these days. If I pay money to see a band and it’s not Phish, I feel ripped off.

59) Because Nappy has gone from a term for dreadlocked hippy to a racial slur…

60) Because Phish brought happiness to so many people.

61) Because I need to see them live. Period.

62) Because ALLAH said so yo!

63) I just want my band back.

64) Because I was too young to see them before.

65) Because God put them here on this earth to play for us.

66) Seeing all of the people that are posting here that claim to have never seen the band before suggests that the notion that the band could go away and the demand would die out is pretty off base.

67) All good things come to those who wait and if we all have a little patience and good karma the quest knights will succeed in finding the secret of the grail and phish WILL rise again. Taboot Taboot.

68) Because if they don’t get back together, the terrorists win!

69) Because when phish broke up I was 12 and just starting to tap in. Now for 3 years, I have done nothing but listen to them and kick myself for never seeing them. The thing that made it tough was that at the time, I couldn’t drive; couldn’t go see shows by myself (I had strict parents); and since they haven’t played Chicago (my hometown) in forever, I would have had to go to great lengths – seeing as I wasn’t even 16 yet at the start of their phinal tour – to see a show. Sorry all you “true fans” that would say I’m “fucked up” for not seeing them. Now that I’m 20, if they come back nothing would stop me from seeing them. ……also because I think it would do Trey good.

70) I’m the same person as the one above and I know some people probably think “if he was 12 when hey broke up how is he 20 now?” Guess I’m not so smart after all. I meant I was 16 when phish broke up.

71) Because their respective solo projects are downright lacking. So they will someday have something to prove once again, only this time around, gimmicks won’t work. Prove it, boys.

72) Because I’ll be off “drug court” at the same time as Trey … coincidence?? Btw Mike is still kickin’ it … call the hotline 212-330-9092 and then not ever know what to say!!

73) Why? Mostly for gratuitous nostalgia, but also to see what the scene became, or perhaps I don’t want to know. They played at my high school in spring 1989; I always saw them in small clubs on the west coast in the early 90’s. Then I saw them in Europe, and the venues were small clubs, Amsterdam 96 or 97 comes to mind….London 94 & 97 (but this was full of frat house types, still everyone starts somewhere). I caught some east coast shows in 93/94, but there was still no scene, like there was at the west coast dead shows late80/early90s, reading this page makes me understand now what happened.

74) Because vibrations travel light years, Phish travels no more, Saturn is still groovin’ on alpine from the early 90’s and Andromeda hasn’t heard a word.

75) Because I’m comforted to learn that I’m not the only one who has been going to other bands’ shows only to be left unsatisfied by the lack of transcendence. And as someone who always unconditionally loved what they did on stage, Trey needs to redeem himself for his Coventry performance. The rest of the band played just fine.

76) For the next generation of kids to become music lovers thanks in large part to the influences of Phish.

77) Glow stick wars!

78) So I can tell everyone that I’m going on a run and they can say “oh, you’re going to see that band that plays all the circus music?”

79) Because the 30 minute flute solos are getting old….besides only Anchorman can get away with playing the jazz flute!

80) Because I haven’t gotten food poisoning in the lot in a WHILE…

81) “Because I miss Alpine to Deer Creek.” Now I’m feeling the same way. Oh, what a glorious time, without a care and the uncanny ability to suck in the entire experience.

82) Because after waiting in my RV for 26 hours to get into Coventry and being told to go home because we were not going to be let in – I deserve to see the FINAL SHOW that I travelled for.

83) Because you don’t see “BLOWJOBS FOR YOUR EXTRA TICKET” at any other band’s concerts!

84) Because it took so long for me to “dread” my pubes…

85) Because “Demand” and “All things Reconsidered” haven’t been played in well over a decade.

86) Because I want to find the guy who at Big Cypress kept yelling “SHIT!” every 10 seconds….then ended up taking a shit on our Mexican blanket. I’d like to return the favor!

87) Uhh… yeah… ok… I just want my band back.

88) Remember the time they floated in a hotdog over our heads, and we were all real high, and Trey hit that one note, and we all cheered? But for real, I miss their shows. 93-97 whoa! Amazing shows. I love all you hippie mamas at the shows with your smiles and hugs.

89) Because I get more excited by seeing Phish cover bands then the bands around today. ah, the Polaris>Deer Creek runs were always great (no matter which order they played them). I definitely miss them, but as previously stated… when they were on top of their game, they were a well oiled, face melting machine. When things started slipping…it just wasn’t the same (disclaimer: a bad phish show is still > 98% of other bands out there).

90) Listen to Slave from Clifford Ball or Nutter (Dec 97) and I dare you to feel as though any moment you spent listening to Phish was in vain. It’s been in other posts, but the word is transcendental. They took us and still take us to the Promised Land. Reunited or not, the band of the 20th century was and is Phish. They summarized one hundred years of dancing, hoping, praying, grooving, loving, fantasizing, dying, living and being. And no one who loved or loves them should ever regret a moment.

91) Phish owes us nothing. They gave us all and more. Actually, scratch that, phish owes me a TACO Bell Grande and a burrito!

92) Because most of us old enough to appreciate them in the 90’s are now able to afford those $500 tickets for their one-time reunion. And because those of us old enough to appreciate them in the 90’s are soon going to be too old to camp out in 105º heat at Deer Creek for 3 days.

93) Because Phish are my older brother’s favorite band of all time and I’m realizing they’re one of mine too….in 2008…

94) Because I’m becoming a hipster.

95) Because I forgot how to dance.

96) Because I haven’t taken a shit in a cornfield in over 5 years.

97) Because the auto industry needs us.

98) If they can, they should, because they do know how.

99) Because I’m tired of being sexy all by myself …and let’s face it, we phish kids are a bunch of sexy mofos!!!

100) Because the Mothership has been grounded for too fucking long.

Thanks for coming back Phish. We missed you.